A "Grateful" Dream Realized

    When I was about 12 years old MTV was HUGE, my sister and I would watch for hours on end. One day a song called "Touch of Grey" came on from a band I had heard of but never actually heard, The Grateful Dead. I knew my Auntie Mary Lou was a "Deadhead", but I really didn't know what that meant at 12 years old. The song itself mesmerized me with it's catchy melody and uplifting lyrics, and the music video with the skeletons dressed as the band drew me right in. From that moment on I LOVED the Grateful Dead, and wanted to see them in person one day.

   Once I became old enough to buy my own music, I purchased my first (of many over the years..) copy of Skeletons in the Closet. Scarlet Begonias, Truckin, Uncle John's Band, Mexicali Blues...Holy shit the album just blew my adolescent mind. The songs had such positive messages, and a sound I couldn't get enough of. A friend introduced me to the album American Beauty not long after this, and I discovered RIPPLE..That was the day I offically became a "Deadhead". The lyric, "Let There Be Songs To Fill The Air" would forever be a part of my soul.

   When Jerry died, I felt I would never experience his greatness in person and it really sucked. I wore a black arm band for weeks. Even at 20, his music had made an impact on my life in a serious way. I still listened to as much Dead as I was exposed to, and life went on it's merry way. Then YouTube came along and changed everything for me.

   For some reason, while I was a fan of the Dead, I was never exposed to the live recordings. Of course I had heard the live studio albums, but the infamous bootleg cassettes never crossed my path. YouTube changed all that with videos of all the old shows. I got hooked on 18 minute versions of Sugaree and 80's Dead almost immediately. Brent Mydland on the keyboards and his amazing chemistry with Jerry just blew my mind. There were audio recordings of shows that happened before I was born that I LOVED. I even found an app with EVERY Dead show from the 70's on. Live Dead became the shiznit for me..Then I heard of Dead and Co.

   When I first learned about Dead and Company, I honestly shit all over it. I thought John Mayer was a douchey pop star, and couldn't replace Jerry in ANY way. I was convinced to give an honest listen, and I could concede that Mayer is a talnted guitarist. I fell in love with the band as a whole over the pandemic. I did a couch tour of every Mass and CT show, as well as suggestions from YouTube on other shows. I subscribed to a channel called "Something Like Mayer" and watched EVERY clip. Johnny really grew on me in a big way, he has a lot more depth and nuance than I originaly gave him credit for. I actually have versions of Sugaree that I prefer over Jerry's. At this point I knew the dream of a 12 year old girl was possible and HAD to happen, I had to go to a Dead show.

   Of course the pandemic made this tricky. The original plan was to take the commuter train to Boston for the Fenway show. This tour was of course Covid cancelled, so once again man plans and God laughs. I was hell bent on seeing them live any way that I could. I had to experience Shakedown Street, be amongst other people who feel this music in their souls the same as you, that vibe you only get at a Dead show, I wanted to close my eyes and get lost in the music as it was being played live. When the 2021 tour dates were announced, I saw they were playing Hartford and knew THAT was my show. I got an oppoutunity to go and I took it...

   To say the show was AMAZING would be a vast understatement. The boys played their hearts out, and I fell totally in love with keyboardist Jeff Chimenti as well as John Mayer. Dancing and singing along to China Cat Sunflower just brought pure joy, I almost cried. The people were just as entertaining as the band  with every walk of life brought together by the music. The only true downside was that venue totally sucked. The 2 hr wait to get in made us miss the first set, there was way too much walking and climbing stairs, and they weren't taking cash, but every silver lining has a touch of grey, and I was elated to just be there. I still managed to buy both an official and lot t-shirt, have water, and eat enough carbs to keep from passing out thanks to my friend. Totally blown away by the entire experience to be honest, I fulfilled a dream I had since I was 12, a dream I thought was lost with Jerry. I no longer feel as if I'm not a "Real" Deadhead because I never saw them live. I closed my eyes and got lost in the music..Lost in the entire experience. I can't wait to see my next one...

It's a Man's World Baby, and You're Just a Girl..With Morals

    So recently I found myself face to face with a moral dilemma as old as time itself. A guy I was somewhat interested in at work seemed almost too involved with an 18 year old girl. At first I just thought it was just jealousy, I'm kind of known for that, but the more I observed the more I sensed something odd. Well today it was revealed that he was hanging out at the local mall with her and a bunch of other teenaged girls we work with. The dude is 49! Talk about a fall from grace, I lost all respect for him in moments. As a parent this absolutely disgusted me, did these girls parents know about this? Holy shit, I would have the dude's balls and scalp in my purse if any of those girls were mine. Which brings me to the age old dilemma, why do some older people date or find interest in much younger companions?

   I have dealt with it myself; recently a younger person I know expressed interest, and even though he is a great kid, he is a kid. Younger than my own chidren. I feel it is improper for me to have any kind of romantic relationship with someone that young. Had an experience in college where a fellow student asked me out, he was 19, I was 35..I just couldn't go there either. The thought of just chilling at the mall with a bunch of 17 and 18 year old boys would never even occur to me. Yet men have been having it occur to them for centuries. Why is that?

   To misquote someone I can't think of, "It's a man's world"

      Men for generations have always liked the young "chippies". "Barely Legal" porn exists for a reason folks. I get it, they're cute, impressionable, all their body parts haven't been introduced to gravity yet, and they are into some freaky shit. I know my old ass can't compete with an 18 year old girl, and I really don't want to. Shit even Roy Moore was chasing 14 year old girls at the malt shop in his 20's, he claimed it to be biblical. Does it really go that far back? YUP!

     In many religions child marriages are actually seen as holy. Mormons, Muslims, and some sects of Christianity are all known to let young girls marry much older men. They claim that religious doctrine says it is fine and dandy. I am no theological scholar, but I know that there are passages in the bible that depict this..Moses comes to mind. Yet one would think that a more modern society would be less accepting of Bronze age values, but unfortunately this isn't the case and young women are quite often taken advantage of for dowrys, or to even just be a trophy. More modern non-religious men do it for the ego boost, and these are the ones I find most reprehensable.

   To put this into perspective, my friend who is 44, has a daughter who is almost 12. He is 32 years older than his daughter. The dude at work is 49 (50 by the end of the year), the girl is 18. He is also 32 years older. My friend would have to date one of his daughter's current friends in 6 years to maintain the level of douchebaggery that exists here. The dude in question is a total schlub, never married, no kids, an Atheist, totally blue collar Irish, and also very awkward. (My usual dream man..FML) In my opinion he is using this girl to boost his small ego. He must feel like he won the lottery the pathetic bastard. I won't even go into the psychological defects that exist within a person like this...Narcissistic Personality Disorder comes to mind. As for the girls in these ridiculously co-dependent relationships, most of them have serious Daddy issues. These men replace the father figures that either abandoned them or didn't love them enough. They seek validation, and are often more than willing to be used to get it. These are totally parasitic realtionship from both sides, and they disgust me. Yet I was called "crazy" today for openly saying it. I think the crazy ones are the ones that are in these relatioships or enable and excuse these behaviors. Once again we ask why?

It's a man's world baby, and you're just a girl...With morals.