The Surreal World

   I grew up as a Generation X kid, born in the 70's and came up in the 80's and early 90's. We were the first generation with CABLE, and since 1981, kid's like me were completely addicted to MTV. We watched it endlessly, it was like our version of the radio. Not only did we hear the music, but we got to actually see the artists in a short film as well. As an 8 year girl, I thought it was fucking AWESOME. Madonna, Cyndi Lauper, and Pat Benatar were my new idols. It was a great time to grow up, as we were also the first kids with computers, video game systems, and rap music. In 1992, MTV introduced us to a "new" kind of television called "Reality". "

   The Real World" premiered on May 21, 1992 to astounding success. The lives of, "Seven strangers, picked to live in a house.." became our new eye candy. We all had favorite characters (Mine was Andre..LOL), and we were there watching every time it aired. Most of my late adolescence and early adulthood can be remembered among seasons of the Real World, from New York, to Los Angeles, to San Francisco, to London, to Miami, to Boston, to Seattle, I watched them all. If I dig in my closet, there is actually a picture of me in front of the Boston house. My generation was hooked. I fully admit to watching the marathons whenever they aired, and harbored a crush on David Burns from the Seattle cast. (That Charlestown accent man...Drool.) Due to the success of The Real World, MTV started making other reality shows, Road Rules, the Challenges between the casts, The Osbourne's, and Jersey Shore; all were tremendous successes that leapt their cast members to often scandalous fame and celebrity. The Real World even produced a US Congressman! (Jackass that he is..LOL)

  Of course everyone now wanted in on the cash MTV was bringing in with their reality television, so all of these reality shows started on other networks. Some good, some bad, some REALLY bad, and some that were quite tastefully done on PBS. Shows like Cops, The Duggars, Dog the Bounty Hunter, and several other "gems" were quite popular, but completely turned me off. I got to a point that I thought it was just really fucking stupid. Then along came Mark Burnett...

   Survivor started with a bang. The self- proclaimed "Fat, Naked, Fag" took the top prize that first season, and America was entranced. Nothing like vapid competition to get the blood pumping here in the US of A. Vapid is why Snooki and Mike the "Situation" are names you recognize. Mark Burnett, the producer of Survivor had a big ole hit on his hands, and couldn't wait for another to make more MONEY. Well... Who knows more about money than (You guessed it!), DONALD TRUMP!

   I grew up in the 80's and pretty much knew that Donald Trump was a fucking piece of shit, thought it was common knowledge. My Tri-State upbringing made things front page news. He always came across as a total bastard. He was rich though, and because of this he was a celebrity in America!! Isn't that great folks? I remember seeing him on an episode of MTV Cribs and laughing my ass off at how vain and ridiculous he was. Not soon after that, The Apprentice aired on January 8, 2004. The premise; 16 young executive wannabes compete for a job with Donald Trump, one being fired weekly, until there is one man, or woman standing. The show was a raging success and made Donald Trump a superstar. Everybody wanted to be down with "The Donald", and I admit to getting sucked in from time to time, especially the celebrity editions. He was a household name, and what should a household name do when he's rich, a toxic narcissist, and married to a suspected escort...That's right kids, he should RUN FOR PRESIDENT!? LOL...And here we are.

   Living in 2020 has been completely surreal, everyday we are barraged by a new level of stupidity. I often feel like I am an unwilling contestant on The Apprentice:White House edition. The cast of yahoos like Stephen Miller, Sarah Huckabee, Mnuchin and his cunty wife, and Bill "Flintstone" Barr entertain us daily, in a never ending news cycle on cable TV. It's the Truman Show, and Donald Trump is the star. Reality TV is now our government, and ratings seem to matter more than the American people. How eerie is it that we can trace a good deal of why Donald Trump is president to the history of reality TV? How did filming, "Seven strangers picked to live in a house" go from being an innocent concept, highlighting the angst of the Post Boomer generations, to a fucking lunatic in our White House? Once I grew up, I thought at some point Reality TV wouldn't be good for our society, and I was right. This  season is getting scarier and scarier, and I would really like to change the channel now. I wanted to see cute boys and steamy storylines, not Springtime for Hitler. 

One Woman's Story of Living In Our "New Normal"

   Over the past several days, I have been unpleasantly aware of the effects our ideological divide is having on us emotionally and socially. Common sense has seemed to go out the window in favor of "personal freedom", and anyone who pushes in favor of common sense is publicly humiliated by their peers. People you consider family saying horrible things to you, making downright threats, and peddling ridiculous accusations. Watching your friends slowly becoming more radicalized on Facebook. Seeing people you've cherished for years consider people like you "the enemy".  I feel truly disheartened by this, and it has MASSIVELY affected both my emotional well being, and my social circle.

   With all of the Covid-19 coverage, Trump and his daily drama, the economic collapse for working folk, and the upcoming election, the impact all of this has on us psychologically seems to get left on the wayside. I can only speak of my personal experiences of course, but the never ending anxiety alone has changed me in many ways. The social impact just this past week has had on me, makes me question a good deal of my life. Emotionally, I am drained, heartbroken, disappointed, feel betrayed by people I love, and am totally grossed out by the behavior of some of my peers. I know that this is completely unsustainable for me, I find myself crying over the sense of loss I'm feeling, the humiliation I feel, the disgust. I find it so hard to wrap my head around almost all of it. I try to distract myself with with the joy that is left, my goddaughter and her babies, the awesome friends I do have, the guy I'm crazy about, but it is always there in the back of my mind. It's like I'm living in fucking Bizarro World.

   I'd like to see any scientific reports made about the psychological impact these times are having on people like me. I am sure that I'm not alone in my feelings, or the toll everything is having on my life and thinking. A few weeks ago, I witnessed a close friend get emotional over how friends of over 40 years post how they want to kill people like him on Facebook. It totally broke my heart. What kind of long term impact will things like this have on us as a society? What kind of psychological devastation will it impose on us? These are things that are potentially more pernicious than Covid-19 further on down the road.

   The only thing we can do as members of the resistance is to do what will keep us safe, try not to let the bastards get us down, and stay strong in our principles. People can bully me all they want, but they will NEVER silence me. I may be crying here and there, but that pain will eventually lead to PASSION. If we come together in that mantra, there is nothing that can stop us.

I may only have one match, but I can make an explosion...